


Of Cats and Witches

by KrispyTori



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Biting, Crack Relationships, Cunnilingus, F/F, Hate Sex, Scissoring, Scratching, Shameless Smut, Swearing, Vaginal Fingering, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:40:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29908143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrispyTori/pseuds/KrispyTori
Summary: Jalter and Nyalter blow off some steam after exchanging heated words.
Relationships: Jeanne d'Arc Alter | Avenger/Atalanta Alter | Berserker
Comments: 8
Kudos: 6





	Of Cats and Witches

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, sorry I haven't uploaded anything in a while. Busy with work and life. I have other ideas for fics, namely a humorous Azur Lane one and a somewhat serious Girls' Frontline one. Also, Devil May Cry 5 is fun and cheesy as hell. If only my fingers would stop feeling like they're doing backflips when I'm controlling Dante. 
> 
> Anyways this is a crack ship I thought of. Instead of pairing Jeanne and Atalanta, why not their Alters? I did recently become aware that the Alters are sort of friends in the future casino event that introduces Ruler Artoria but whatever. This silly story takes place during the Setsubun event. Canonically, Nyalter hasn't appeared yet until the Russian Lostbelt but we can handwave that as the summoning system being random as fuck. Also, I will end up dropping the 'Alter' part of their names partway through because it'll get tedious typing that out all the time.

The distinct clang of weapons and cries of battle could be heard from the mysterious 100-floor pagoda that showed up out of nowhere. Currently, Ritsuka and his Servants made it to floor 99 after many battles. The enemies themselves weren't too difficult, just numerous and the number of floors made it exhausting. Add to that the strange magical alcoholic mist in the air that could even get Servants outright drunk or wasted, and Chaldea had a problem.

Luckily, due to his connection to Mash, Ritsuka was resistant to the effects and for some reason, so was Tomo- General Setsubun. The definitely-not-an Oni woman quickly thought of a solution by blowing up part of the grounds outside the building with her flaming attacks to create a hot spring. It gave the previously fighting Servants a chance to unwind and relax, while also recovering from battle and the alcoholic effects. This meant the Servant teams had to fight on rotation so that no one got too smashed.

Anyways, back to the present battle on floor 99.

"General, on your left!"

" _Hai,_ master!"

With a loud _kiai_ , the white-haired Archer momentarily paused in drawing another arrow and instead threw a flame-wreathed fist into a Vile Oni that dared get too close. The crude club it wielded was no match as it shattered from the punch, sending the grotesque monster flying back into a group of its kin. The diminutive black creature wasn't that powerful but in numbers could prove overwhelming, especially compared to the grey-skinned Lesser Oni. So what better way is there to clean up a mob than gathering them up for one big attack?

"Hey, brat! It's your turn," Jeanne Alter shouted at Mordred. The Avenger's **Dragon Witch** skill was already taking effect, giving the rebellious dragon-blooded Saber an extra power boost who was preparing her Noble Phantasm, her helmet opening up and sliding back into her armour to reveal her youthful face.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard ya, Miss Doom and Gloom. Eat this, **Clarent Blood Arthur**!" With an extra **Mana Burst** , Mordred swung her mighty blade, sending a massive red energy beam to vaporize the mob of Vile Oni. Fortunately all the pagoda's floors were open-spaced instead of being enclosed so the energy was left to dissipate outside. A nice afterthought from whoever manifested such a building.

"Gee, that was kinda too easy," Mordred complained while resting Clarent on her armoured shoulder. "I thought there'd be tougher guys since, ya know, this is the 99th floor."

Of course as soon as she opened her big mouth, rumbling could be felt on the floors as big footsteps made their way towards the Chaldeans. 

"Get ready, everyone," Ritsuka commanded his Servants.

"Raaargh!" Two massive Oni with pale manes appeared. One had black skin and the other had blue skin, both wielding massive _kanabo_ that could pulverize most living things. 

"Ah, great. You just couldn't shut the fuck up for five minutes?" Jeanne Alter cursed, readying her battle standard and arming sword.

"Lay off me, will ya?" Mordred griped back, getting back into a combat stance and reforming her helmet. 

"Let us do our utmost, comrades. _Oshite mairu_!" General Setsubun exclaimed as she charged forth with her flaming _naginata_.

The two blondes looked to each other before sighing, joining the somewhat charismatic Archer into the fray with their own battle cries.

* * *

It took some time but the three women eventually defeated the two Oni using Ritsuka's strategy and General Setsubun's tactics. With teamwork and some taunting by Mordred, General Setsubun tossed the blue one and blew it up with **On Arokikya Sawaka** while Jeanne Alter finished off the black one by skewering it and burning it alive with **La Grondement du Haine***.

Ritsuka went to the men's section of the onsen while General Setsubun went to meditate instead. That left the Saber and Avenger going to the women's section of the onsen. The Archer would join later.

Jeanne Alter wasn't exactly friends with Mordred but their Master insisted they at least work together if they can't be friends. Her **Dragon Witch** skill just so happened to synergize with the hot-headed knight, along with the other Chaldean Servants possessing the dragon trait. 

"Ahh, that hits the spot." Mordred sighed in bliss as she took a dip, her muscles already relaxing while her mind cleared from the misty booze. Jeanne Alter merely grunted in agreement, relaxing on the other side away from others.

Unfortunately for the edgy French woman, a certain cat was also relaxing after her own battle. 

"I see the maiden of vengeance has returned," Atalanta Alter said with a sneer, bearing her fangs.

"Can it, furball. You're hissing at the wrong chick," the Avenger replied back.

"You guys are really gonna start this shit again?" Mordred groaned in annoyance as she moved away from the ensuing argument. Probably go behind a boulder or something.

While Jeanne Alter wasn't the friendliest of people, she has at least toned down her hostilities since being summoned by Chaldea. She certainly wasn't the first 'antagonist' that joined their crusade to stop the incineration of human history. Her smug condescending attitude was still a problem, though. But this damned cat woman, summoned as a Berserker of all classes, just really didn't like Jeanne d'Arc.

The normal Archer Atalanta no longer openly despised the Holy Maiden, but she still disagreed with her. The Ruler, strict as she may be, was quick to forgive the Archer over certain events that involved a certain Jack the Ripper. For the sake of humanity, Atalanta was willing to put her differences aside. Now Jeanne d'Arc and Atalanta are somewhat cordial with each other and Ritsuka no longer has to deal with teeth-clenched teamwork between them.

Atalanta Alter, however, was an entirely different matter. Deep down, she is still the same Atalanta but at a time when she has given in to her rage against Jeanne d'Arc while donning the hide of the Calydonian Boar. She was less restrained and more feral, but still somewhat reasonable unlike usual Berserker summons.

"You know I'm not the one who exorcised those kids, right? Or are you that much of a dumbass to not know the difference between me and _her?_ " Jeanne Alter asked rhetorically while staring into the other's eyes.

"Of course not, doesn't change the fact that you still look like _her._ " Atalanta Alter glared back as her two tails bristled out behind her in anger. "The sight of that so-called 'Maiden' who couldn't even save children when they needed her most pisses me off."

"Tch, maybe you should get some therapy before you start digging your claws where you might lose them," Jeanne shot back. "Or are you that much of a rabid animal that you lost your mind?"

"That's rich, coming from an Avenger," snarled Atalanta. "You can never forget that hatred of yours, even if satisfaction were to slap you in the face. All you want is destruction."

Oh, the nerve of this woman. Jeanne was absolutely fuming at this point as she stood up and made her way to the Berserker. The water around her seemed to boil even hotter.

"Say that shit to my face," Jeanne hissed out. "You think I wanted this feeling?"

Atalanta met her glare with her own, also standing up face-to-face with the pissed Avenger. Her claws began to extend in response to this perceived threat.

"All you want is _destruction_ ," she growled back. 

"At least my anger isn't directed at the wrong person," Jeanne responded as she got even closer to the Berserker. They were basically chest-to-chest at this point. 

Perhaps it was the after-effects of the mist or the heat was getting to them, but the duo started to really get in each other's face as they exchanged insults. They would never actually attack each other unless it was sparring. Despite their brash attitudes, neither wanted to disappoint the Master who earned their respect.

Jeanne noticed how their busts were barely touching and took a quick peek at Atalanta's chest. Her gaze flickered back up to meet the other's eyes before smirking.

"Heh, you're probably jealous of my tits," the Avenger mocked. 

A choked gasp of anger escaped Atalanta's lips as she took a short step back. "How dare you? Why would I envy something that would throw me off balance, you witch?"

"Hah! It takes a true warrior to fight with these, dumb cat."

"They would only slow me down."

"Speed doesn't matter if you can't take a hit."

"Why get hit at all if you can draw first blood?"

Back and forth the two Alters went, their animosity tempered down to simple arguments instead of emanating killer intent. Their faces were flush red, and it wasn't just from the heat and booze as they started getting closer again. Neither could deny that the other actually had a damn nice figure and a pretty face.

Atalanta noticed how flush her cheeks were getting and she wasn't sure if the Avenger across her felt it as well. Perhaps this Jeanne wasn't as deserving of her fury as the other one was? Still, this one has quite a bratty mouth that gets on her nerves. She couldn't ruin Ruler Jeanne without drawing the ire of her Master and the other Servants but maybe she could blow off some steam by taking it out on someone who looked like the so-called Holy Maiden. Mentally shrugging, the feral woman decide to bait the brat.

"You know what? This argument is going nowhere so why don't you just shut your mouth." 

"Pfft, why don't you make me?" 

Jackpot.

The Berserker stepped even closer before grabbing the back of the Avenger's head and smashing their lips together.

"Mmph?!"

The kiss was rough and messy, especially with one of Atalanta's fangs 'accidentally' nicking Jeanne's bottom lip, drawing a small drop of blood.

Jeanne moaned into the kiss as she derived some sort of masochistic pleasure from the rough treatment. Then her eyes snapped wide open as she remembered who exactly she was dealing with and shoved the other woman away.

"Get off me," she said. "What the hell was that about?"

"Just drawing first blood," Atalanta said with a toothy smirk. She licked the small red stain on her fang. "You did ask me to shut you up."

"So you did... _that?!_ " Jeanne shrieked in embarrassment.

"What? Did you want me to claw your face open? I've seen the way you've been eying me up, and truthfully, I'd probably prefer you than the other one." Atalanta shrugged, her gaze lingering on the other's figure. "I still think you're annoying but I don't think Master would be pleased if I were to ravish everyone's favorite Ruler for my own guilty pleasure. You, on the other hand, can take it."

"You're mad," Jeanne stated. "That **Madness Enhancement** is driving you crazy."

Atalanta looked at her in surprise before laughing. "Ahahaha, you silly witch." She moved closer and whispered in the other's ear. "Berserker I may be, but **Madness Enhancement** I do not possess."

With that, she nipped on Jeanne's neck while fondling her sizable chest with her hands. Yes, this sinful act might be just what she needs for now.

"I- mmm," Jeanne growled from the rough treatment, unable to formulate a coherent response. Perhaps this would calm her down, even if it would be a temporary distraction from her own inner hatred. That cursed **Oblivion Correction** skill of hers would never let her forget that hatred but maybe she can momentarily redirect some of that pent-up emotion.

Atalanta grinned when the other didn't outright oppose her actions, so she kept going. She moved one of her hands down, barely dragging a claw down Jeanne's toned abdomen, eliciting a shudder from her.

"I take it that you want this as well?" The cat-like Berserker playfully nipped on one ear as she brought her hand down even lower to cup Jeanne's womanhood. 

"Just fucking get on with it, you bitch- ah!" The Avenger was interrupted as one of her boobs got roughly groped, the claws teasingly digging into her soft flesh, and another claw dragged across her clit, making her whimper.

"I'm a cat, remember? Last I checked, bitches are dogs," snarled Atalanta. "Judging by the way you're whimpering and whining like a dog in heat, that should make you my bitch."

"Cheeky, aren't you?" Jeanne hissed back. "Let's see who's whining when I do this."

With quick hands, Jeanne grabbed on to the base of Atalanta's tails and _yanked_ just hard enough to make her yelp at the raw sensation shooting up her spine. This had the added effect of making her knees tremble as she almost collapsed. With that slight height advantage, Jeanne held onto the back of Atalanta's head as she nibbled on one of the furry cat ears.

"Mmm, you- ah!" Atalanta struggled to respond and instead reciprocated by groping Jeanne's tit even harder. When that didn't make the Avenger let up, she also decided to slip two fingers into Jeanne's pussy. That definitely got a reaction.

Jeanne gasped at the sudden intrusion in her womanhood, realizing she was actually _wet_ and it wasn't just from the water. Atalanta intimately felt it as well and smirked as she wriggled her fingers even deeper, spreading the tight inner walls apart. The danger of her claws as they gently scraped her insides only added to the masochistic pleasure. Atalanta had a clear enough mind to retract her claws to a more reasonable length, fortunately. Even she wasn't cruel enough to make another woman bleed from the inside like that.

"Mrrngh, I ought to..." Jeanne breathed out, all but using her superior strength to push Atalanta against the stone edge of the onsen. Her pussy clenched even tighter as Atalanta's fingers spasmed from the sudden movement. She groaned at the feeling before letting go of the Berserker's tails to tease her wet folds instead, making the cat-woman purr appreciatively. Then she also pushed two fingers inside, the wet heat smothering her delicate digits. 

The two Alters stayed like that for while, fingering each other and rubbing their bodies together. An insult or two would slip past their lips before joining together in a quick rough kiss, or biting at each other's necks or shoulders. 

With a devious grin, Atalanta _raked_ her claws across Jeanne's back, making her gasp in surprise and throw her head back. Taking the opportunity of this vulnerable position, Atalanta brought her face down to Jeanne's chest before biting on the top of her left tit, leaving a mark. 

"You, what the- mmngh!" Jeanne was cut off as Atalanta sucked roughly on her nipple, grazing it with her fangs. She then rolled the pink nub between her teeth, her fangs dangerously close to biting down and adding to the addictive thrill of danger.

The Avenger responded in kind by curling her fingers even deeper into the Berserker, the rough sensation causing the cat-woman to switch to the right breast with a growl and bite down even harder on the supple flesh, almost drawing more blood.

"You really are like an animal, biting me all the time," said Jeanne. She dug her nails into Atalanta's right tit, flicking the nipple with a finger just hard enough to cause stinging pain. With her other hand, she slipped a third finger into the feral woman's pussy, all while humping herself on the clawed fingers buried inside herself. The sharp tickling sensation seemed to arouse her even more, her wetness causing the claws to slide smoothly against her inner walls with less friction.

Popping her lips off the nipple, Atalanta bore her fangs into the other's face. "What can I say? I enjoy seeing that _face_ writhe in contempt and scorn."

"You keep comparing me to _her_ and it's pissing me the fuck off."

"Then do something about it, witch."

With a burst of strength, Jeanne pulled her fingers out and shoved Atalanta onto the stone edge of the onsen, her ass landing slightly out of the water. 

"Hey, watch the tails, brat!"

Jeanne didn't reply, simply using her superior strength to force Atalanta's legs apart. Her Strength was ranked A after all compared to Atalanta's own C++. Chuckling to herself, she then proceeded to push her face into the pussy's pussy, callously rubbing her nose against the clit before shoving her tongue in and eating her out.

"Oh, gods above," moaned out Atalanta. Her legs tried to close instinctively but the Avenger had a firm iron grip. Instead, she groped her own boobs while grabbing onto the back of Jeanne's head with her other hand to keep her in place. 

That didn't stop Jeanne from lifting her face up to smirk. "Looks like the cat got my tongue."

Atalanta groaned at the terrible pun, which quickly shifted into a moan of pleasure as the unholy maiden dipped back down and continued to ravish her quivering slit. She added a finger into the mix to make the other Alter submit to more carnal pleasure, freeing one of Atalanta's trembling legs as she dug her heel into Jeanne's back. Ignoring the minor discomfort, Jeanne's tongue and finger worked in tandem inside of the cat-woman's clenching heat, her arousal leaking out like a faucet.

 _"I could probably get used to this taste,"_ the Avenger thought to herself.

Gasping and moaning, the Berserker was left to the other woman's mercy. Perhaps she shouldn't have messed with another Servant that had a higher Strength stat. Suddenly, Jeanne pulled her tongue out and dragged it across the pink folds slowly up to the clit. At the same time, she shoved two more fingers deep into Atalanta's core, rubbing against that one spot. The result was instantaneous.

"Ah? Mmm- kya!" Atalanta came with a choked cry, her juices squirting all over Jeanne's face. Her heel dug even harder into the other woman's back but she didn't seem to mind as she kept lapping at her gushing folds. 

_"Almost like a dog...like a bitch,"_ Atalanta thought in amusement, trembling from the after-shocks of her orgasm.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me now," Jeanne interrupted, snapping her fingers in her face. "I still need to get off, too."

The Avenger shifted out of the water, holding Atalanta's right leg up as she brought their slick pussies closer together. Realizing what position she wanted, Atalanta spread her legs to ease the process. At the same time, she didn't want to fully submit like a tamed animal. With that in mind, she suddenly grabbed Jeanne's own right leg and pulled her in, eliciting a surprised yelp from her.

"I won't submit so easily." Atalanta hissed as their quivering folds made contact with each other. Then she started grinding against Jeanne while moving one hand to pinch her clit with her claws. The raw sudden sensation was too much for the Avenger.

"Mmmnn!" Jeanne climaxed, pursing her lips to contain her cry. She had been on edge since the pair started fooling around and that cat-woman didn't need much to push her over it. Her honey squirted out all over Atalanta's pelvis, adding even more slick fluids to the mess. 

Panting for breath, the two Alters glared at each other with flushed faces, Atalanta wearing a slightly smug grin from her recent 'victory.'

"Well? This isn't enough, so let's keep fucking going," Jeanne snapped.

"My thoughts exactly."

With that out the way, the pair continued scissoring each other, their slick juices acting as lubricant for their grinding pussies. Grunting and gasping, they mashed their lips together into another rough kiss, letting go of each other's leg to instead grab each other by the back of the head. Their chests pushed against the other, nipples occasionally grazing together as they rubbed their bodies together. Jeanne once again moved one hand to the base of Atalanta's tails, squeezing and tugging slightly to make the other woman gasp as they broke away for air. Atalanta responded by clawing at Jeanne's right ass-cheek, making her wince.

"You're still annoying," Atalanta growled.

"Oh, fuck you," Jeanne sniped back.

"You already are, idiot."

The Alters went for another rough kiss, whether to shut each other up or to derive more carnal pleasure, it really didn't matter to them. Faster and faster they scissored, both their lips aching and their teeth clacking together quite uncomfortably due to how forceful they were with each other. Eventually, all good(?) things must come to an end.

"Yes, yes, yesyesyesyes...mmmmph- kyaaah!"

"Gods above, I'm...aaahhh!"

Together, the two woman hit their peaks as they cried out. Desperately, they kept grinding their bodies together in the throes of pleasure, riding out their orgasmic highs. As they finally came down, the pair let go of each other and simply collapsed, their backs resting on the warm stones and chests heaving from deep breaths of air.

"Perhaps, hah, I was too harsh with you," Atalanta gasped out.

"Oh fuck off, you loved it," Jeanne replied back.

Atalanta chuckled, with Jeanne following suit. Maybe this could be the start of a strange relationship. 

* * *

"Holy shit, what did I just watch," Mordred whispered to herself.

The Knight of Rebellion was currently peeking from behind a rock. She had heard the argument get louder followed by strange cries. She ignored it at first but when the sounds didn't stop, she decided she should break it up herself.

Mordred didn't want Master or any of the other Servants to blame her for letting things get out of hand, and as a Knight of the Round Table she still had some dignity. What she didn't expect was to see the two Alters canoodling with each other. 

"I wonder if the Holy Grail can erase parts of my memory." 

"Why would you say that, Mordred- _dono?_ "

"Ahh! Archer, umm, how do I explain this? You see..."

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> *'La Grondement du Haine' is apparently incorrect for Jalter's NP. It's supposed to be 'Le Grondement de La Haine' according to proper French grammar, I guess. Canonically, Jeanne was an illiterate country bumpkin and Jalter is the result of Gilles summoning a vengeful imitation of said Holy Maiden, so we can just chalk it up to Jalter not caring or not knowing as long as the attack sounds bad-ass (it's most likely the Japanese staff made a translation error). Her German is apparently also pretty bad in her summer version. Jalter is just an adorkable chuunibyou, honestly. 
> 
> First time writing yuri and 'hate-sex' in general. Tell me how it turned out. I could have gone with Summer Jalter since she's a lot more laid back and easier to deal with even as a Berserker (seriously, that swimsuit is hot) but technically she doesn't get that spirit origin change until much later. On the other hand, Nyalter already exists since she's just regular Atalanta after stuffing herself with the Calydonian Boar hide. Remove the hide somehow, she'll revert back to her Archer self (then we'll have two Atalantas, I guess.)


End file.
